Post by tauros6 on Jan 13, 2008 23:44:35 GMT -5
The fans wait listlessly for the next segment when eventually, a set of chimes accompany a spoken opening.
The crowd goes absolutely apeshit in every sense of the word as none other than the Self-Proclaimed Best in the World, Guerrero Hernandez, enters the arena, his manager and trainee Jaimie Roberts at his side. Almost nothing can be heard amongst the cheers for this IMDbWE legend, who makes his way to the ring.
Cole: "And here comes the Filipino Franchise, one of the favorites, in my view, to win the IMDbWE Title Tournament."
Jazz: "Damn skippy, hippy. Although he might not even get past the first round, he's still one of the guys who a lot are betting on."
Cole: "How can you say he's losing the first round?"
Jazz: "Simple Cole, he's facing the Destroyer. Who can stop that guy? It's gonna take a lot of work just to get him down onto the mat, let alone pin him."
Cole: "Still a earth-shattering reaction by our fans to the former IMDbWE Champion."
Climbing up to the top turnbuckle, Hernandez motions for the fans to cheer even louder, damn near shaking the foundation of the arena to its core before posing with Roberts. Eventually, he calls for the mic, which a worker promptly tosses to him. Catching the mic stick in his hand, Hernandez begins with a bang.
Hernandez: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Hernandez...is...Battlezone!"
A deluge of cheers comes down after his obviously stolen catchphrase.
Hernandez: "This ain't no smoke and mirrors folks, this is no mirage or magic trick, I am not going to pull birds out of my ear or try to cut Ms. Roberts in half..."
Roberts: "Again."
Hernandez: "Because you are listening to the one, the only, the Self-Proclaimed Best in the World, Guerrero Hernandez!"
The fans give out a huge ovation.
Hernandez: "And you know what, it is so damn great to be back here in the IMDbWE! And I want to thank each and every one of you fans who continue to stand by us through the hard times, through the sick times, through the needy times, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in loving and cherishing, in sickness and in health, as long as we all may live! And you guys stay here just to watch what we do best, which is kick the everloving crap out of each other for your enjoyment! So thank you for that!
More cheers come. Hey, they love their violence.
Hernandez: "And for the gentlemen and a few hopefully good looking ladies out there, my friend and copatriot Jaimie Roberts would like to thank you all in a very special way, one that involves donkeys, a whaling ship, three copper sporks & a Gordon's fisherman look-a-like."
Roberts: "Yep, only a hundred dollars per, fellas."
Hernandez: "Which is a great price, by the way."
Roberts: "Only the best for our fans here in Oakland!"
Huge pop, they're from Oakland!
Hernandez: "You are so learning the art of the cheap pop."
Roberts: "What can I say, I learned from the master."
Hernandez: "But cheap pops and mess-ups are not why we're here, is it Jaimie?"
Roberts: "Nope, we are here for something much bigger and larger and meatier..."
Hernandez: "That's what she said."
Roberts: "We are talking about the IMDbWE World Heavyweight Title Tournament!"
The fans cheer at the mention of the big tournament to crown the next world champion.
Hernandez: "That is right, my peepsicles, this tournament is larger than you or I, this tourney will decide the very next IMDbWE Champion, an honor that has been bestowed on me before, and I hope will come onto me again. But you see, I've looked through the list of those participants and this is a list of the best and brightest this company has to offer, and even being mentioned in the same breath as them is an honor in of itself."
Jazz: "It's a hell of a list of wrestlers in that tournament, Cole."
Hernandez: "We have nine former IMDbWE Champions and five future IMDbWE Champions, all sticking their little grubby hands out for a shot at the gold. And I can respect that, I can fully extend my hand and shake the hand of each and every participant just for sticking their necks out for a shot, win or lose. But don't get me wrong, when it all comes down to it, there will be one man left standing, one wrestler with the gold ever so wrapped carefully around his waist, and that man is the Best in the World, Guerrero Hernandez!"
His fans immediately give a pop to what they hope to be the future world champ, Guerrero Hernandez.
Hernandez: "When I'm back there and I see those young guys like Alex Lackey & Seth Jacobs & Carlos Perez, their eyes just ablaze with passion and readiness to sacrifice their bodies for this business, and when I see veterans like the Vampire, Axl Massario, River Daniels & James Macarther restrap on their boots and find themselves fighting once again, their own passion for the business just plain re-ignited, it just makes me feel my own passion again. And it also makes me want to kick their damn head in and take back what's mine!"
More fans cheer, getting behind the Franchise.
Hernandez: "Because I don't care if you're God's Gift or God's Ayatollah, if you're drinking Mountain Dew or eating human flesh, if you plan to rise like a Phoenix or go down like Sakky, once you step into the ring with the Filipino Franchise, there will be no remorse, only the feeling of your shoulders to the mat as the referee counts one, two, three."
Cole: "Well, you can't say he's not speaking his mind."
Hernandez: "And I wouldn't feel sad about it at all, right Jaimie?"
Roberts: "Nope, losing to you would be an honor for anyone."
Hernandez: "And you know why that's so? Because I am the best wrestler in the world! And there is no man, woman, beast, wild boar, polar bear or five-year-old child that can stop me!"
The fans cheer.
Hernandez: "So from my first round match to the finale, I can assure you that..."
Just then, Hernandez is interrupted.
"Edgecrusher" by Fear Factory blasts through the arena, causing huge boos as the monstrous Destroyer enters the arena.
Jazz: "Oh yeah, Hernandez wants to talk trash, well here comes a gigantic pile of destruction to silence his big mouth. This is why I predicted a first round loss, Cole."
Cole: "The Destroyer, this monster has taken out so many superstars here, and Hernandez has never faced him before!"
Jazz: "This is a whole new deal for the Franchise, and once the Destroyer is done with him, he'll find out why he's only the 'self-proclaimed' best in the world."
Standing on top of the entrance ramp, Destroyer directly address his opponent inside the ring.
Destroyer: "You know, I actually feel kind of happy for you, Hernandez. Because after tonight, you'll only have to wrestle one match. Me, I have to wrestle three. Because after destroying everything in my path, starting with you, I am going to be the next IMDbWE Champion."
Hernandez: "Hey big lug, I don't want to take your time out here, since I know that you need to take your daily dose of the Clemens juice right about now..."
Destroyer is enraged.
Hernandez: "But for all your height and for all your strength and for all the destruction that you've caused during your reign of terror here, I'd like to remind of you of one thing. I have fought every type of wrestler there is, from the gigantic monsters to the speedy luchadores to a small pale white guy in maroon tights. So if you think that you can scare me, you've got another thing coming. I've have climbed metaphorical mountains taller than Mount Everest, so if you damn well think that I won't try to beat you in order to go for the IMDbWE Title, then you've got another thing coming."
Destroyer: "Go on, keep running your mouth, Hernandez, because you won't be able to use your mouth once you're lying a hospital bed!"
Hernandez: "It doesn't matter if you bust me up, break my arm, shatter my jaw or batter my brain, I will fight with everything I've got to win that belt. If you boot me in the face, I'll kick you in the jaw. If you drop me on my back, I will drop you on your head. And if you put me in a hospital bed, then I will single-handedly roll myself toward you and kick your ass with my IV line!"
The fans explode into cheers.
Hernandez: "So bring a fight, Destroyer, because I will be right here, ready and waiting to kick your ass! It is my destiny to be the next world champion. And you do not fuck with destiny."
Hernandez drops the mic, immediately trash talking with the upstage Destroyer. Meanwhile, the fans are overwhemingly on Hernandez's side, chanting "BEST IN THE WORLD!" over and over again.
Cole: "This is an explosive situation here, but I cannot wait for this match."
Jazz: "It's gonna be big, Cole, in more ways than one. You can bet that whoever steps out of this match is a heavy favorite to win the title. The stakes are huge in this one."
Cole: "Who is going to come out the winner, Guerrero Hernandez or the Destroyer? Stay tuned to find out!"
The camera fades away as Hernandez & Destroyer stare at each other, determined to come out the victor.
We got a lot of a...sharks out there...try'na take a bite of somethin'...What's hot...Lot of chameleons out there...try'na change up...Anytime somethin' new comes along...everybody wants a bite, don't happen overnight.
The crowd goes absolutely apeshit in every sense of the word as none other than the Self-Proclaimed Best in the World, Guerrero Hernandez, enters the arena, his manager and trainee Jaimie Roberts at his side. Almost nothing can be heard amongst the cheers for this IMDbWE legend, who makes his way to the ring.
Cole: "And here comes the Filipino Franchise, one of the favorites, in my view, to win the IMDbWE Title Tournament."
Jazz: "Damn skippy, hippy. Although he might not even get past the first round, he's still one of the guys who a lot are betting on."
Cole: "How can you say he's losing the first round?"
Jazz: "Simple Cole, he's facing the Destroyer. Who can stop that guy? It's gonna take a lot of work just to get him down onto the mat, let alone pin him."
Cole: "Still a earth-shattering reaction by our fans to the former IMDbWE Champion."
Climbing up to the top turnbuckle, Hernandez motions for the fans to cheer even louder, damn near shaking the foundation of the arena to its core before posing with Roberts. Eventually, he calls for the mic, which a worker promptly tosses to him. Catching the mic stick in his hand, Hernandez begins with a bang.
Hernandez: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Hernandez...is...Battlezone!"
A deluge of cheers comes down after his obviously stolen catchphrase.
Hernandez: "This ain't no smoke and mirrors folks, this is no mirage or magic trick, I am not going to pull birds out of my ear or try to cut Ms. Roberts in half..."
Roberts: "Again."
Hernandez: "Because you are listening to the one, the only, the Self-Proclaimed Best in the World, Guerrero Hernandez!"
The fans give out a huge ovation.
Hernandez: "And you know what, it is so damn great to be back here in the IMDbWE! And I want to thank each and every one of you fans who continue to stand by us through the hard times, through the sick times, through the needy times, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in loving and cherishing, in sickness and in health, as long as we all may live! And you guys stay here just to watch what we do best, which is kick the everloving crap out of each other for your enjoyment! So thank you for that!
More cheers come. Hey, they love their violence.
Hernandez: "And for the gentlemen and a few hopefully good looking ladies out there, my friend and copatriot Jaimie Roberts would like to thank you all in a very special way, one that involves donkeys, a whaling ship, three copper sporks & a Gordon's fisherman look-a-like."
Roberts: "Yep, only a hundred dollars per, fellas."
Hernandez: "Which is a great price, by the way."
Roberts: "Only the best for our fans here in Oakland!"
Huge pop, they're from Oakland!
Hernandez: "You are so learning the art of the cheap pop."
Roberts: "What can I say, I learned from the master."
Hernandez: "But cheap pops and mess-ups are not why we're here, is it Jaimie?"
Roberts: "Nope, we are here for something much bigger and larger and meatier..."
Hernandez: "That's what she said."
Roberts: "We are talking about the IMDbWE World Heavyweight Title Tournament!"
The fans cheer at the mention of the big tournament to crown the next world champion.
Hernandez: "That is right, my peepsicles, this tournament is larger than you or I, this tourney will decide the very next IMDbWE Champion, an honor that has been bestowed on me before, and I hope will come onto me again. But you see, I've looked through the list of those participants and this is a list of the best and brightest this company has to offer, and even being mentioned in the same breath as them is an honor in of itself."
Jazz: "It's a hell of a list of wrestlers in that tournament, Cole."
Hernandez: "We have nine former IMDbWE Champions and five future IMDbWE Champions, all sticking their little grubby hands out for a shot at the gold. And I can respect that, I can fully extend my hand and shake the hand of each and every participant just for sticking their necks out for a shot, win or lose. But don't get me wrong, when it all comes down to it, there will be one man left standing, one wrestler with the gold ever so wrapped carefully around his waist, and that man is the Best in the World, Guerrero Hernandez!"
His fans immediately give a pop to what they hope to be the future world champ, Guerrero Hernandez.
Hernandez: "When I'm back there and I see those young guys like Alex Lackey & Seth Jacobs & Carlos Perez, their eyes just ablaze with passion and readiness to sacrifice their bodies for this business, and when I see veterans like the Vampire, Axl Massario, River Daniels & James Macarther restrap on their boots and find themselves fighting once again, their own passion for the business just plain re-ignited, it just makes me feel my own passion again. And it also makes me want to kick their damn head in and take back what's mine!"
More fans cheer, getting behind the Franchise.
Hernandez: "Because I don't care if you're God's Gift or God's Ayatollah, if you're drinking Mountain Dew or eating human flesh, if you plan to rise like a Phoenix or go down like Sakky, once you step into the ring with the Filipino Franchise, there will be no remorse, only the feeling of your shoulders to the mat as the referee counts one, two, three."
Cole: "Well, you can't say he's not speaking his mind."
Hernandez: "And I wouldn't feel sad about it at all, right Jaimie?"
Roberts: "Nope, losing to you would be an honor for anyone."
Hernandez: "And you know why that's so? Because I am the best wrestler in the world! And there is no man, woman, beast, wild boar, polar bear or five-year-old child that can stop me!"
The fans cheer.
Hernandez: "So from my first round match to the finale, I can assure you that..."
Just then, Hernandez is interrupted.
Due to the graphic nature of this program, listener discretion is advised...
"Edgecrusher" by Fear Factory blasts through the arena, causing huge boos as the monstrous Destroyer enters the arena.
Jazz: "Oh yeah, Hernandez wants to talk trash, well here comes a gigantic pile of destruction to silence his big mouth. This is why I predicted a first round loss, Cole."
Cole: "The Destroyer, this monster has taken out so many superstars here, and Hernandez has never faced him before!"
Jazz: "This is a whole new deal for the Franchise, and once the Destroyer is done with him, he'll find out why he's only the 'self-proclaimed' best in the world."
Standing on top of the entrance ramp, Destroyer directly address his opponent inside the ring.
Destroyer: "You know, I actually feel kind of happy for you, Hernandez. Because after tonight, you'll only have to wrestle one match. Me, I have to wrestle three. Because after destroying everything in my path, starting with you, I am going to be the next IMDbWE Champion."
Hernandez: "Hey big lug, I don't want to take your time out here, since I know that you need to take your daily dose of the Clemens juice right about now..."
Destroyer is enraged.
Hernandez: "But for all your height and for all your strength and for all the destruction that you've caused during your reign of terror here, I'd like to remind of you of one thing. I have fought every type of wrestler there is, from the gigantic monsters to the speedy luchadores to a small pale white guy in maroon tights. So if you think that you can scare me, you've got another thing coming. I've have climbed metaphorical mountains taller than Mount Everest, so if you damn well think that I won't try to beat you in order to go for the IMDbWE Title, then you've got another thing coming."
Destroyer: "Go on, keep running your mouth, Hernandez, because you won't be able to use your mouth once you're lying a hospital bed!"
Hernandez: "It doesn't matter if you bust me up, break my arm, shatter my jaw or batter my brain, I will fight with everything I've got to win that belt. If you boot me in the face, I'll kick you in the jaw. If you drop me on my back, I will drop you on your head. And if you put me in a hospital bed, then I will single-handedly roll myself toward you and kick your ass with my IV line!"
The fans explode into cheers.
Hernandez: "So bring a fight, Destroyer, because I will be right here, ready and waiting to kick your ass! It is my destiny to be the next world champion. And you do not fuck with destiny."
Hernandez drops the mic, immediately trash talking with the upstage Destroyer. Meanwhile, the fans are overwhemingly on Hernandez's side, chanting "BEST IN THE WORLD!" over and over again.
Cole: "This is an explosive situation here, but I cannot wait for this match."
Jazz: "It's gonna be big, Cole, in more ways than one. You can bet that whoever steps out of this match is a heavy favorite to win the title. The stakes are huge in this one."
Cole: "Who is going to come out the winner, Guerrero Hernandez or the Destroyer? Stay tuned to find out!"
The camera fades away as Hernandez & Destroyer stare at each other, determined to come out the victor.